Chapter 18: No One Wants To Hear About Cowards

18.1 EXT. KINGDOM FAITHFUL MOUNTAINSIDE FOREST - EVENING

TERGEN, MAJ and ATIFICAT are sitting around a campfire at the foot of a mountain.

MAJ

What do your names mean?

TERGEN

That was random. Where’d that come from?

MAJ

Your names are unfamiliar to me, that’s all. I was just wondering whether they meant anything.

ATIFICAT

What does yours mean?

MAJ

My full name is Majesty - “one who is majestic”. Royal.

ATIFICAT

(sarcastically)

No kidding.

MAJ

So… What about yours?

TERGEN

Nothing.

MAJ

Nothing?

TERGEN

Nothing.

ATIFICAT

Same here.

MAJ

How can your names not mean anything?

ATIFICAT

Do they need a meaning? Why can they not just be a collection of sounds that identify one person from another? Meanings are over-rated.

TERGEN

It’s so much more interesting not having a meaning. No expectancy to live up to. Haven’t you grown up with the notion that you have to be majestic?

MAJ

Not really.

ATIFICAT

Then why are you travelling with us?

MAJ

To find out what killed Angus and Rosa.

ATIFICAT

Precisely. You want justice. And by achieving justice, you will earn your name. You will have performed actions that reflect your name - you will be majestic and have royal qualities. It’s all subconscious.

MAJ

All subconscious? That’s just a way of saying “This is what you’re like but you don’t know it.” And neither do you! It’s a scapegoat for all the mysteries of the psyches. So why are you here?

ATIFICAT

To save my skin. To try and right some of my wrongs. But that has got nothing to do with fulfilling a namesake. 

MAJ

What about you, Tergen?

TERGEN

I’m here to bring some meaning to my life.

MAJ

Maybe because your names have no meaning, the pair of you are searching for meaning in your lives. 

ATIFICAT

I don’t think so.

MAJ

Subconsciously then.

ATIFICAT

I thought the subconscious was a scapegoat…

All three of them laugh together.

CUT TO:

18.2 EXT. KINGDOM FAITHFUL MOUNTAINSIDE FOREST - NIGHT

MAJ and ATIFICAT are lying down looking up at the stars through the leaves, going to sleep. TERGEN is sitting up, keeping watch.

ATIFICAT

What were you before you started this journey, Maj?

MAJ

A blacksmith’s apprentice.

ATIFICAT

Ah. Making swords.

MAJ

Mostly tools - farming and household. Nigel, my master, usually makes any weaponry that is required.

ATIFICAT

Can you fight?

MAJ

Not with a sword. But I’m strong. I often win at arm-wrestling contests at the tavern.

Atificat and Tergen snigger.

MAJ

What?

TERGEN

When you meet enemies in the big, wide world, they aren’t going to challenge you to an arm wrestle. They’re going to come at you with a sword like at the fairground.

MAJ

I know! I never said that’s how I would fight in combat. 

ATIFICAT
You need training, boy.

MAJ

Do you think it’s really necessary?

ATIFICAT & TERGEN

Yes.

TERGEN

We’ll start training in the morning. Just the basics. You’re lucky we kept those swords from the fairground.

THE READER

Lucky because otherwise there’d be a terrible sense of discontinuity.

Maj looks confused.

ATIFICAT
Don’t worry. It’s a bit of a meta moment.

MAJ

Right.

ATIFICAT

So, what did you do before you were a Keeper of the Crowns, Tergen?

TERGEN

That is none of your concern.

ATIFICAT

A soldier?

TERGEN

A soldier?! Good gracious, no! What makes you think that?

ATIFICAT

You can handle yourself with a sword surprisingly well. 

TERGEN

I know I don’t come across as the type likely to be a decent swordsman, but I had very good training. If you don’t mind, my past is irrelevant. It has no bearing on anything at the moment, thank you very much.

ATIFICAT

A-ha! You are our man of mystery!

MAJ

The man with the masked past!

Atificat and Maj laugh.

TERGEN

Let me be, guys.

MAJ

Spoilsport.

TERGEN

I like my privacy and I would appreciate it if you would respect that. Now let’s change the subject.

MAJ

Fine. Atificat, could you tell us the rest of the story of the mighty Andleli and his quest to recover the Crown of Prophecy. I was really enjoying it before you were so rudely interrupted.

ATIFICAT

The mighty Andleli! I like that. It’s completely untrue!

MAJ

What?

ATIFICAT 

Andleli was a coward. He was no hero. He wasn’t a brave warrior during the Great Wars. He was a deserter, Maj. A coward. 

MAJ

Why did you lie then?

ATIFICAT

Because no one wants to hear about cowards.

THE READER

I do.

ATIFICAT

Oh alright then. Here’s what really happened.

CUT TO:

18.3 EXT. THE QUAYSIDE - DAY

It is a busy dock full of the hustle and bustle of merchants, sailors and passengers and their families. ANDLELI, PANALIA and RAPHER enter and stand, watching the scene.

ATIFICAT (V/O)

So as we know, Andleli and his companions Panalia and Rapher, are on their way to the Isles of the Pygmy Elves to retrieve the Crown of Prophecy. But first we must note that he was far from perfect. He did not save the Rapher the mole. He watched from the bushes as Rapher was beaten.

MAJ (V/O)

So he was a really bad guy?

ATIFICAT (V/O)

Not a bad guy. Just not a good guy. He was weak.

ANDLELI

Oy!

ATIFICAT (V/O)

Well, it’s true, isn’t it?

ANDLELI

Still… cheap shot…

THE READER

Get on with it.

ATIFICAT (V/O)

Moving swiftly on. They arrived at the coastal town of Seaside, named for its location beside the vast expanse of saline water. However they were unable to get anyone to get a boat for them. This was partly to do with the fact that not many ships did trade with the Isles of the Pygmy Elves. Partly because no sailors were willing to be stuck on a boat with a wimp, a pigeon and a mole.

RAPHER

What are we going to do then?

ANDLELI

We could leave you behind.

PANALIA

No!

ATIFICAT (V/O)

Panalia said, for he had grown close to the mole.

ANDLELI

Then I have already failed. The only way we can get over there now is by magic.

WARLOCK

(overhearing on passing)

Magic? Did you just say magic? Why, my boy! I am a warlock. And a mighty powerful one at that! What is it that you need, lad?

ANDLELI

I need to get to the Isles of the Pygmy Elves, but no boat will take us.

WARLOCK

You are burdened by your animal friends?

ANDLELI

Yes.

WARLOCK

Let us change the circumstances. Instead of your pigeon being a hindrance, let us make him a help.

The Warlock holds his hands over Panalia.

SFX: FLASH OF BLUE LIGHT

RAPHER

What did you do?!

ANDLELI

Have you killed him?!

PANALIA

I am still alive, friends.

ANDLELI

No such luck.

PANALIA

(genuinely laughing)

Your wit never ceases to entertain me!

ANDLELI

What did you do?

WARLOCK

I have given your pigeon the ability of super-strength so that he can fly you over the sea to the Islands.

ANDLELI

Thank you so much, sir! How can I ever thank you?

WARLOCK

You needn’t bother. I’m just glad that I was able to help. 

And with that, the Warlock walks away, humming to himself.

RAPHER
What a charming man!

PANALIA

You don’t get many nice people nowadays.

ANDELI

(thoughfully)

Hmm. Well, onto the Pygmy Isles, I guess.

CUT TO:

18.4 EXT. KINGDOM FAITHFUL MOUNTAINSIDE FOREST - NIGHT

ATIFICAT looks at his companions but they are sleeping.

ATIFICAT

I guess we’ll call it a night then.

READER

What about me?

ATIFICAT

You’ll just have to wait, won’t you. Good night.

FADE TO BLACK.