Dear Diary,
Sharon just told me that Sam is dead.
…
I don’t really know what to think about this. It’s a very surreal situation. I’m sad, but distanced from it all. I wish I wasn’t. I wish I was more obviously affected. I feel a bit guilty for having not cried yet.
Morab got angry and trashed the front room. I tried to help. Not to trash the room, but with his dealing of the news. He accidentally pushed me and I fell to the ground. It’s nothing really. I’ve got a small cut on my left temple, but I’m sure he didn’t mean it. He’s just sad about Sam.
Sharon followed Sam to the Crowners of the Light meeting. She was concerned for him and wanted to make sure he’d be ok. But that didn’t work out so well… He was stabbed apparently. Right through the chest with a sword.
I just shivered and I feel a bit sick having written that. Sharon told me that they dragged his body out of the fortress and just chucked it… him into the empty moat. He of all people did not deserve that.
He’s really the only person who’s been there for me. Mum and Dad were too busy looking after the business and Rosa to properly care for me. And I suppose I pushed people away from me, so I never received much love from the rest of the village. Apart from Maj. But after the whole incident after Rosa’s death and ReNay, there was only ever Sam. I miss him now. The first person I’ve ever really appreciated. I’ve kind of appreciated Maj, I suppose. He did a lot for me… But, I mean, Sam did so much. He saved me!
After ReNay had put the Crown on my head, I went really mad. I can remember that I was screaming and shouting. I was writhing my hands together because I couldn’t take the Crown off but I wanted to. I was a frenzy. I fell off the stage but Sam caught me and he whisked me away from the town centre, down a dark alley. I can’t personally recall why no one else saw us, or why no one followed us. Sam told me that whilst I was rushing about onstage, ReNay and the hooded men started to fight the Bridgeside Brigade and the police, and all the townsfolk ran back to their homes so that they wouldn’t get caught up in the feud. I suppose that in all the pandemonium, Sam and I went unnoticed. Sam and I watched as the small group of Crowners slaughtered the Bridgeside Brigade. The Brigadier fell to the ground, groaning. I saw his wife dart out of their house, running to her dead husband. And as she knelt beside her husband, she too was murdered mercilessly. I fell to my knees, sobbing. I was crying even before then, but I had reached a new level of raw emotion.
I can’t remember how much it all went on for, but I know that Sam’s hand was on my shoulder the whole time. And… Yes! I grabbed his knees, hugging them. Holding him close. Then he knelt down beside me and he told me that he would look after me and keep me safe. He told me that he’d take me to a place where I would be safe and where no one could ever hurt me. And I believed him. His voice felt honest. In that moment, I trusted him. They were the first words he said to me, and I knew that he was my friend. I knew that he was someone special and new. This must be beginning to sound a bit like a tribute. A rubbish one at that. I’ll just end with the fact that he was there for me at a time I needed him - a guardian angel.
He explained everything to me about the Crowns and about the Crowners and about the Keepers of the Crowns. He told me all about Morab and Tergen. And he talked all about his childhood. And he always asked the right questions at the right times. He just seemed to get me.
And then there was Sharon. She’s been reading over what I’ve been writing and is somewhat annoyed that I haven’t mentioned her once. I can’t really remember first seeing Sharon. I was so frantic when I was first ‘crowned’ (a term that sounds horribly ominous) that I didn’t really notice her presence. It wasn’t until Sam and I were sneaking to the river and we were hiding underneath the bridge that I was really made aware of her. This dazzling blonde woman who I didn’t recognise. She was annoying at first. A bit of a pest. She wants me to retract that but I won’t. This diary is supposed to be an accurate account of true events. Sam told me to sleep. He must have thought I was being a complete schizophrenic. Speaking to something that he couldn’t see and just generally being a bit insane. I settled down and went to sleep, with Sam and Sharon watching over me. The next morning, Sam hired a boat and the three of us rowed up the river, right until we got to the waterfall. It did not occur to me that I knew that, and the trip would be a wasted one. And so we sailed back. Sam took it all in his stride, laughing at himself. And so we walked.
We walked for so many days, but Sam ushered me along and kept me going. And I got used to Sharon talking too. That was weird. Especially when Sam and Sharon wanted to speak to each other. I just became a relay girl, relaying what one said to the other. That gets frustrating. But we’re really getting on now.
We arrived at the town of Rypt and we walked through the suburbia. It all felt very clean and green. Very rich, nothing like the dirtiness of Bridgeside. I remember feeling embarrassed about my background. Anyway, we finally ended up outside number 14, Druid’s Grove, which is just off Rose Street. A detached house with a well-kept front garden and a bay window in the front room.
He introduced me to the Keepers of the Crowns. I’m scared about how the Keepers will carry on without him. Tergen is out in the field and is still clueless about everything that’s gone on. And Morab is totally freaked out. I suppose he’s terrified to even contemplate what the future holds. All his plans and long-term schedules are ruined.
I actually wonder whether his anger is for the loss of Sam’s life or for the inconvenience it has caused. But that’s between you and me, Diary. And Sharon (who insists on inclusion).
For Sam, I miss you. And thank you for saving me.
Dear Diary,
Morab has just told me to pack up. Our position has been compromised and we are fleeing to a safe house. Seeing as I don’t have any of my own stuff, I have filled a bag with some of Sam’s clothes and books. I don’t want them to get lost or damaged. All his work should not go to waste.
Sharon says I should mention that Morab dragged me upstairs by my hair. I’ve only put it to appease Sharon. Morab is under a lot of pressure, and I feel like I’m in the way. He’ll calm down once we are in the safe house.
