I’m in love! Oooh, it’s good feeling, isn’t it? Happy song and happy dance time! Lalalalalalala! And I feel like I’m going to sing happiness eternally! It’s odd. Love is wordless. It can’t be expressed with language. Well, it can. There are loads of poets and writers and bards who sing soppy love ballads. But they don’t capture love at all! They capture idealism. They’re false. I don’t think they’ve actually been in love. Not proper love, anyhow.
Simone is wonderful. I’ve just got back from a rendez-vous with her. I took her to a tea rooms and paid for her, of course. This was the first time that I have been with Simone without her being chaperoned. Of course, I didn’t take advantage or anything. That’s not me. But it was much more relaxed. We were much more open with each other. And it was wonderful! Just wonderful.
Father had his candidate interview for the position of mayor of Reliance today. All very exciting. Mother’s very proud, of course. She’s out at a function with her ladies. The social scene. It’s amazing how much politics is to do with the wives. Not about the manifestos or policies at all, really. It’s just a popularity contest.
And I have my part to play too. My relationship with Simone has to be a clean slate. Nothing sordid. And I have my first book being published next week - very exciting! Barely eighteen and I already on my way to being a prominent member of society. And to have Simone at my side! Fantastic! We have arranged to meet at another date prior to the presentation of the mayoral candidates. It is almost a dead-cert that Father will at least get that far, so to have Simone at my side before the town… I’d be dead proud.
In other news of life (it’s all going so well, you know! I feel invincible, immortal!), I keep on finding out new things about the stories that I read and tell to everyone. I mean, they are just fairy stories. We grew up with them. But I have odd suspicions about them. They seem connected… I’ve been to other areas of the kingdom: where Etrisse used to stand, the eastern forests, and to the kingdom of Binon. And I hear new, different tales. But they all similar. Not thematically, necessarily. And not morally. But they all have a feature in common. A crown. An enchanted crown. They might have different powers, do different things, but there is often an enchanted crown.
It interests me. I want to delve further. I hear they have good stories in Thripp. So if I can I’d love to travel there. It’d be great to take Simone with me. Maybe as my wife! That was rather a big jump, wasn’t it! We’ve only been courting for a few weeks. If that! We shall see. It’s all very vague at the moment.
Until next time, Journal, when I shall be out of breath from singing my happy song and worn out from dancing my happy dance!
Sam
__________
The doorbell rings and Jen is startled, her heart suddenly pounding. She puts Sam’s diary to one side and leaves her bedroom. She looks down the stairs at the front door. Several ominous silhouettes loom behind it. One of the silhouettes moves an arm and the bell rings again. Jen cannot hear anything from Morab wherever he is. She slowly descends down the stairs. The bell rings again for the third time. Jen does not speed up. She reaches the door, unlocks the bolts, turns the key, rotates the doorknob ninety degrees and pulls it towards her. The sunlight streams in and the silhouettes vanish for several seconds as Jen’s eyes adjust to the noon brightness.
Jen’s eyes stop squinting and come back into focus. Standing before her are three ladies, grinning giddily. “Can I help you?” Jen asks. She means to sound polite but it just sounds groggy.
“We saw that you were new to the neighbourhood and we wanted to make you feel welcome. We all know how difficult it is to move to a new area,” one of the ladies explains, smiling.
“Your kindness is much appreciated but you should go and never call again. Thank you.” And Jen closes the door abruptly and begins to return to her room.
“They could have helped you.”
“Leave it.”
“I won’t.”
“Leave me alone, Sharon. Go for a walk or something.”
“I’m not going to leave you.”
“How noble,” Jen replies drily. “How can you actually help though? How can you stop Morab from hitting me and hurting me and raping me? You can’t. You can only watch on. And that’s awful.”
“It’s not my fault.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to do.”
“I don’t think turning away kind and interested women is going to help you escape.”
“Stop it, Sharon! I don’t know what I can do! Whatever I do, Morab will follow me! A women with no choice but to wear an enchanted Crown can never disappear. There will always be rumours and gossip. And I’ll become a legend. A myth.”
“Then take the Crown off yourself and be done with it!” Sharon barks.
“I can’t. Because I want to live. And I like living with you. I don’t want to condemn us both to darkness and nightmare.”
“But if living is a nightmare…”
“It will sort itself out. Life always does. Tergen will return and save me.”
“But when will that be? He doesn’t know where we are!”
“Freedom is worth the wait.” Jen picks up her book and begins to read again. “Sam was always so happy. He was happy all the time I knew him and he’s happy in his diaries. He keeps me going through all of this. He may be dead, but he keeps me alive and he gives me hope.”
“And I feel sick. Your sweet monologuing about Sam is nauseating! Enough with your soundbite speeches and see the reality. You are being abused and you are holding out for some hero to come and save you. A hero who probably will never come.”
“You’re wrong. Tergen will come.”
“What about those women? Why can’t they save you?”
“They don’t understand.”
Sharon screams with frustration. “You are Impossible!” And she storms away.
